HELPING KIDS UNDERSTAND ADDICTION

When I come across something that I think will be useful in demystifying addiction and correcting opinions and attitudes about it, I want to share it with you.

Especially when it concerns talking about addiction with kids.

Alicia Sparks writes a blog, and this one is called Mom You're a Junkie!: Explaining the Disease of Addiction to Children. (You can read the entire article at http://blogs.psychcentral.com) 
 
Once I got past the first part of her title, I found I don't have any quarrel with anything Ms. Sparks writes about and the advice she offers -  except her use of that ubiquitous term  "substance abuse". But in this context, it's a minor complaint.

If you have children and you know you have to talk to them about somebody they love who drinks too much or uses other drugs, there's some good advice in this article. 

The following are edited excerpts from Alicia Sparks' blog: 

... addiction is not a “junkie” lifestyle choice, but an actual disease that sufferers have to learn to manage.

(It is important to explain) ... the difference between the initial decision to take drugs (a choice) and the body and mind’s addiction to drugs (not a choice):

Addiction is not a choice, a sign of moral weakness or a character flaw. While the initial decision to use drugs may be a choice for some people, drugs change the brain in a way that makes it extremely difficult to stop. Over time, the brain craves drugs like food or water and it’s difficult to feel normal without them.

(Here are) three ideas on approaching a discussion about the addiction as a disease with children:

1. Explain that addiction is a chronic disease much like other diseases. “When talking to a child about addiction, it’s important to explain that addiction is a chronic disease similar to diabetes and heart disease.”
2. Make sure the child understands his parent’s addiction itself is neither his fault nor his parent’s fault. “Children need to understand that addiction is not their fault, nor is it their parent’s fault.”
3. The child should be able to talk freely and safely with the parent and/or therapist about his feelings and his parent’s progress. “Children should be encouraged to talk about their feelings without criticism or judgement, whether with a parent, therapist or other trusted adult, and be reassured that the parent is getting the help they need to get well. “

I think it's important always to remember that children know that something is not quite right in their family when someone they love is suffering from the disease of addiction (even though they can't put their finger on exactly what it is that isn't right).

And secondly, when talking to children about anything - and especially when talking to them about addiction - the best strategy is always the truth.